In early social media days I rarely posted, and then only to connect with others to fend off the hunger of loneliness. Now I post more frequently out of habit and to keep track of where I've been and where I want to go.
I'm not "lonely", but new crew members for future adventures are always welcome. It's a tough world out there; where God has spoiled me- the universe has been unforgiving.
Thursday the muscles in my neck and upper shoulder spasmed and rendered me unable to leave the apartment complex without putting other people's lives in danger. Driving in a Dallas rush hour isn't the smartest thing to do when you can't check your blind spots.
Thursdays we have band practice for Sunday Service; this Thursday we had practice for an evening Praise and Worship service. The timing of the spasm couldn't have been more perfect to hold me back.
The first thing that can to mind was, "Not today Satan!", before I groaned in pain attempting to massage the affected area with icy hot. "I can't quit, not now." I had wrestled with thoughts of contacting the team to tell them to go on without me.
After some meditative prayer, OTC meds, natural supplements, and a salt bath, I strapped a couple of pain patches and took back roads to practice. Even though I had regained some movement since the morning, I still had to play it safe.
- - -
Friday I wake up screaming and writhing from the contractions. I activate a few pressure points while digging into the bed with my neck, attempting to realign and alleviate the symptoms: it's mostly successful.
I am able to leave the complex unlike the morning before; of course I have pain patches this time, but I know that if I want to get better I have to keep moving by faith and not by sight. At work I drink a couple cups of coffee to warm me up, the thick faux leather jacket stays on to keep the muscles warm and loose.
- - -
I get to practice, but my neck muscles are tired. I haven't been able to properly support my neck, so those muscle groups are exhausted in an effort to compensate for the rebellious muscles.
Before entering the building I pop a pain pill, remind myself why I do what I do, give the glory to God, and keep moving. Even if it hurts.
Even though I wasn't able to play to my fullest potential, I know God moved when I could not. By this point I'm a little numb from the pain, but also very very warm.
During the break down of the equipment I decide to test my limits since it appears the chains of fatigue are broken. Still a little sore, but even prisoners need time to grow into freedom.
- - -
My neck is better now, Praise the Lord, I'm able to move around and perform routine tasks without fail. However this charade has left me wondering what the future holds.
My muscle spasms have been increasing in frequency and intensity. Perhaps it's time to get examined by a medical physician.
Saturday, January 19, 2019
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
I usually go by the Lunar Calendar, but most people prefer the Gregorian one
2018 was a relatively good year for me. I'm not one to be festive about things, but it's one of the few "holidays" that everyone can relate to. I almost don't believe this year came and went, despite it being very eventful.
In many ways, for me, it has ended on a cliffhanger with no concrete ending. A great number of things finally came into fruition, while a select few returned to the earth in hopes of being reborn in a metaphorical Spring.
Earlier this year I proclaimed it would be a Year of Harvest, and while I am not one to be festive I do pray for the new year. I pray for a future for things that have happened, I pray for things that are happening, and pray in advent for what may happen.
I can say with certainty that I am uncertain of what is to come. Most major things spoken into my life came into fruition this year, and if that's true there's only one thing to do with this abundance.
If 2018 was the Year of the Harvest, then 2019 must be the Year of Stewardship.
Saturday, November 10, 2018
Super Massive Rabit Hole
A while back I met a man of a different faith. We shared values and histories, but his lineage in blood and spirit is of a different breed. We met in a cafe and spoke of our similarities and differences and things that made us unique. He showed me a vast array of knowledge regarding his faith and what it meant to him.
Coming from a family that put an emphasis of knowledge hording for the benefit of future generations, I had no problem interviewing this man and investigating his church. Much like things of the past I immersed myself in the subject to the point of obsession. I oft did this as a kid in different sciences and topics far and wide. I picked up books I was not ready for and probably should have never read at the time.
Growing in these literature I had not kept my eyes on the Lord as all Christians should; not once did I guard my heart when venturing into forbidden places. I observed and made mental notes of possibilities and realities, only putting things of theory into practice when applicable. While I came out physically unscathed and mentally sound, my spirit had and has mourned.
Our last dialogue with this priest ended with, "what now will you do with this knowledge?" In my arrogance I replied, "save it for later." He briefly reprimanded me, perhaps it was God speaking through him, that not all people can gaze upon riches, turn away, and not crave what they have seen. While I know my convictions in Christ will never lead me astray, a phrase resounded in my heart and in my mind:
Strong is one who has partaken with this things of this world and has turned away; better is one who never did.
In this age where information and experiences can be passed on unfiltered like pathogens in the wind, it is wise to act on knowledge with wisdom. While we are all subject to the original sin of Adam, we are only taught to continue being sinful by those around us. Sin, Biblical sin, is more than simple disregard for the 10 Commandments overtly quoted. It would be foolish to believe that we can uphold those and not continue to obey our human natures. The Bible does speak of other sins can be detrimental to our health on many levels.
I write these words not knowing who or what responses will return, but my heart grieves for there are many who need to hear and heed but have never witnessed what I bleed out on this page. We are all called to do different things, have been bestowed gifts and talents, and are born with unique traits that allow us to perceive the world in ways others cannot.
If you're reading this, I urge you to leave with caution and be mindful what seeds you allow to take root in your essence. I know my Father equipt me with things to use in the future, and has allowed me to be tempted with things I should have never entertained. I admit there are things I have toyed that I would like to forget, things I cannot justify according to my own standard, some on Earth, and those in Heaven.
If these words carry do not speak to you, or cause you not to stir, then perhaps they are not for you or are for another time. Go get a cup of tea or coffee. Stay hydrated! Don't Text and Drive!
Coming from a family that put an emphasis of knowledge hording for the benefit of future generations, I had no problem interviewing this man and investigating his church. Much like things of the past I immersed myself in the subject to the point of obsession. I oft did this as a kid in different sciences and topics far and wide. I picked up books I was not ready for and probably should have never read at the time.
Growing in these literature I had not kept my eyes on the Lord as all Christians should; not once did I guard my heart when venturing into forbidden places. I observed and made mental notes of possibilities and realities, only putting things of theory into practice when applicable. While I came out physically unscathed and mentally sound, my spirit had and has mourned.
Our last dialogue with this priest ended with, "what now will you do with this knowledge?" In my arrogance I replied, "save it for later." He briefly reprimanded me, perhaps it was God speaking through him, that not all people can gaze upon riches, turn away, and not crave what they have seen. While I know my convictions in Christ will never lead me astray, a phrase resounded in my heart and in my mind:
Strong is one who has partaken with this things of this world and has turned away; better is one who never did.
In this age where information and experiences can be passed on unfiltered like pathogens in the wind, it is wise to act on knowledge with wisdom. While we are all subject to the original sin of Adam, we are only taught to continue being sinful by those around us. Sin, Biblical sin, is more than simple disregard for the 10 Commandments overtly quoted. It would be foolish to believe that we can uphold those and not continue to obey our human natures. The Bible does speak of other sins can be detrimental to our health on many levels.
I write these words not knowing who or what responses will return, but my heart grieves for there are many who need to hear and heed but have never witnessed what I bleed out on this page. We are all called to do different things, have been bestowed gifts and talents, and are born with unique traits that allow us to perceive the world in ways others cannot.
If you're reading this, I urge you to leave with caution and be mindful what seeds you allow to take root in your essence. I know my Father equipt me with things to use in the future, and has allowed me to be tempted with things I should have never entertained. I admit there are things I have toyed that I would like to forget, things I cannot justify according to my own standard, some on Earth, and those in Heaven.
If these words carry do not speak to you, or cause you not to stir, then perhaps they are not for you or are for another time. Go get a cup of tea or coffee. Stay hydrated! Don't Text and Drive!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)