Foreshocks

In early social media days I rarely posted, and then only to connect with others to fend off the hunger of loneliness. Now I post more frequently out of habit and to keep track of where I've been and where I want to go.

I'm not "lonely", but new crew members for future adventures are always welcome. It's a tough world out there; where God has spoiled me- the universe has been unforgiving.

Thursday the muscles in my neck and upper shoulder spasmed and rendered me unable to leave the apartment complex without putting other people's lives in danger. Driving in a Dallas rush hour isn't the smartest thing to do when you can't check your blind spots.

Thursdays we have band practice for Sunday Service; this Thursday we had practice for an evening Praise and Worship service. The timing of the spasm couldn't have been more perfect to hold me back.

The first thing that can to mind was, "Not today Satan!", before I groaned in pain attempting to massage the affected area with icy hot. "I can't quit, not now." I had wrestled with thoughts of contacting the team to tell them to go on without me.

After some meditative prayer, OTC meds, natural supplements, and a salt bath, I strapped a couple of pain patches and took back roads to practice. Even though I had regained some movement since the morning, I still had to play it safe.

- - -

Friday I wake up screaming and writhing from the contractions. I activate a few pressure points while digging into the bed with my neck, attempting to realign and alleviate the symptoms: it's mostly successful.

I am able to leave the complex unlike the morning before; of course I have pain patches this time, but I know that if I want to get better I have to keep moving by faith and not by sight. At work I drink a couple cups of coffee to warm me up, the thick faux leather jacket stays on to keep the muscles warm and loose.

- - -

I get to practice, but my neck muscles are tired. I haven't been able to properly support my neck, so those muscle groups are exhausted in an effort to compensate for the rebellious muscles.

Before entering the building I pop a pain pill, remind myself why I do what I do, give the glory to God, and keep moving. Even if it hurts.

Even though I wasn't able to play to my fullest potential, I know God moved when I could not. By this point I'm a little numb from the pain, but also very very warm.

During the break down of the equipment I decide to test my limits since it appears the chains of fatigue are broken. Still a little sore, but even prisoners need time to grow into freedom.

- - -

My neck is better now, Praise the Lord, I'm able to move around and perform routine tasks without fail. However this charade has left me wondering what the future holds.

My muscle spasms have been increasing in frequency and intensity. Perhaps it's time to get examined by a medical physician. 

I usually go by the Lunar Calendar, but most people prefer the Gregorian one

2018 was a relatively good year for me. I'm not one to be festive about things, but it's one of the few "holidays" that everyone can relate to. I almost don't believe this year came and went, despite it being very eventful.

In many ways, for me, it has ended on a cliffhanger with no concrete ending. A great number of things finally came into fruition, while a select few returned to the earth in hopes of being reborn in a metaphorical Spring.

Earlier this year I proclaimed it would be a Year of Harvest, and while I am not one to be festive I do pray for the new year. I pray for a future for things that have happened, I pray for things that are happening, and pray in advent for what may happen.

I can say with certainty that I am uncertain of what is to come. Most major things spoken into my life came into fruition this year, and if that's true there's only one thing to do with this abundance.

If 2018 was the Year of the Harvest, then 2019 must be the Year of Stewardship.