Post Reprocussion Reflections

The visit was very heart warming. The trip back to the DFW was long enough for me to feel the pains of having to say goodbye without having to say it at all.

I never did officially say good night or good bye to friends and family of the RGV.  I'm pretty bad when it comes to that (tell me good morning, and I'll just say "Hello!"). The question of the week was what it felt like to be back home.

Maybe at one time I felt the RGV to be a place of rest and warmth, but only for a moment in time. In the years I've spent and minutes spent there not once did I feel the safe guards and peace that one feels at home.

I feel the same way about the DFW too. In many ways I've come to believe I won't be at rest until I have finished everything I helped start or started.

It felt good to be back in familiar shores; surrounded by wonderful and familiar faces, but I did not feel a sense of belonging. I miss all of them, each and everyone of them who I call friend or family of blood and not of.

Not often do I feel, but during that final stretch down I-35E, I felt it. Like gravity pulls on objects in flight, did my mind rationalize what emotions I masked from myself when I shut the car door for the long haul.

The separation from all those that I love.

Black PegAsus

I have returned to my region of origin for a bit; reasons are many clear and unclear. This visit is slightly past due and at the same time rather early, either way this means I have access to my main machine: the freedom from the power of this machine is immense.

I'll probably use that power responsibly to update my personal and professional informations, play video games, and reconnect with the world in a digital level again. Think of it as a save point in a game or one of those recap episodes in an anime.

Due to many factors I haven't been able to remain as connected as I have wanted to, so if your birthday has passed within the last two months and you're reading this, "Happy Birthday!" The original plan was to be able to travel between the RGV and the DFW with ease and when desired, when needed; when the time comes.

In some ways it has been a blessing to be disconnected from the world in this way, my exposure to the foolishness and negativity of humanity was minimal, but at the same time it meant that I couldn't directly support my allies, colleagues, and friends. One big bonus was that I could no longer distract myself from myself.

At times I can be super self-critical, and during this time I wasn't able to distract myself from the flaws that I have been made aware of over time. Because I could no longer dismiss them, my time disconnected allowed me to cultivate and foster both my strengths and my weaknesses.

I don't want to say I'm invincible, because I am far from it; not only am I now more aware of my mental and emotional capabilities, I have grown in them.

Catastrophically Mundane

While nothing catastrophic has happened, I haven't been able to post as intended due to current life situations. A lot has happened, and I do have the capabilities to post via phone, but I prefer it not. Perhaps it is better this way.

I do not want to say I've been slightly side tracked, no, not that, instead a reallocating of priorities had occurred. A friend of the family had called upon me and my services to aid her with a project she wanted to put forth. In place of the Ibsen Project I worked on her's. No there is no fling here.

I agreed to work with her on this venture out of a common interest; Jesus Christ. Had faith not been involved I would not have put aside the Ibsen Project. Her project has the fuel and potential to be something great, and I am glad to have helped push it in the direction it currently heads. Hopefully within three weeks her vision, God's Project, will be up and running. I will post links here when the time comes.

Nosferatu and La Voyage de Coffee are complete. Depending on LVDC's reception I may or may not go public with it for sometime and instead send it through the short film circuit privately, as much as that bothers me. Until further notice it will remain under wraps. So where does this leave future projects like the Ibsen Project? Being completely honest I am five weeks behind on that schedule.

Aside from working "God's Project", which has been a collaborative effort by receiving feedback from various individuals from all walks of life, I completed Nosferatu in its intended entirety, La Voyage de Coffee in the best way that I could (with help from family), and did a few camera jobs too to keep the bills at bay. At the moment I am not in a position of abundance to be filming at full speed, so the Ibsen Project might come about later than hoped.

None the less I wish to achieve the goals I set out before the end of this winter, so productions may bleed into next calendar year. Lord willing I finish everything on time.

No word on the side projects I mentioned in the last post, but I am getting all my notes together so that when the time comes I can produce all that is needed in a swift, efficient, and manner of high quality. 

Until then... The dead travel fast at night.