H.U.M.A.N

Sometimes I feel trapped inside of a body that physically needs rest and nutrients in order to function properly. I've gotten used to eating, but every now and then the necessity of food gets in the way. Sleep, however, is the real problem.

While I'm not a fan of naps, my sleep cycles occur in 2s and 3s usually. From 20 minutes to 2 hours or 30 minutes to 3 hours. Anything less I consider napping. When I wake in the middle of the night, my mind is screaming.

I prefer three hour cycles to two because I feel better rested, waking up isn't so bad at three. But at two it feels like I'm waking from the dead. My body doesn't respond and I'm needing to drag it up and out.

Everything is heavy and numb, I can't see nor hear correctly, breathing hurts and is sporadic; my heart is pounding hard and fast to replenish oxygen and blood supplies as I force my body to move. My mind is screaming, my brain sending potent electrical signals down path ways: every surge breaks metaphorical ice and mends shattered nerve rail ways.

When I'm up I feel pain, pain all over. Pain on the inside and pain on the outside, as if I am feeling every texture, every toxin, and everything tactile and tangible for the first time. I feel like I'm going to vomit, but then all the tension fades way. Nothing hurts and my senses have adjusted and dulled. I'm exhausted.

This doesn't always happen when I awaken, but it happens enough for me to find sleep somewhat uncomfortable. It can get in the way sometimes.

DP BRTHS EEA

Sometimes I get sick and I can't tell my left from my right nor what is up and what is down; things may even appear. This happens occasionally, and I've learned to deal with it when it happens. I don't know if any of you have experienced this sober, I know quite a bit of people that experience this under the influence.

Not to say that I experiment with drugs, or that I know which drugs and specific people do drugs, but that I know there are people who like to feel three dimensionally disorientated.

Something that helps me when I experience this spacial dissociation, is counting and tapping.

Counting: counting similar things, counting breaths, counting footsteps or rhythmic things. 
Tapping: tapping the floor, the wall, a chair, a table, physical contact like a punch, "high five", or a hug helps.

Of course ff you have the convince of sitting, lying down, or resting then use it. But if you don't have the luxury of just stopping everything to re-center yourself, then you can try the counts and taps. You can try to apply this to any daily activity. The above are examples and the below are more daily examples:

Stripes on the road, the ticking of a clock, keystrokes on a keyboard, the flickering of a flame, the probabilities and possibilities of life.

When you come back from whatever in-between dimension you drifted off to: immediately let go of the number you've counted, the textures or rhythms you created, and the ideas you may have conjured. For methods to help you return, those are vast and various, perhaps in a later blog will I cover how to. One thing for certain, I cannot force you back to reality, but I can guide you back out of the rabbit hole.