So Nice

I'm considering taking a Vow of Celibacy. I've come to a point in my life where I feel that marriage, or just an intimate relationship of that caliber, may not arrive during the current time frame or may be no longer viable with the ambitions I have. There are many things in life I want to accomplish, many of them being dangerous, extremely time consuming, or both. Considering everyone I have met and the generations that surround me, it has become apparent in my eyes that my beloved is not there.

Even if she strides like a summer breeze on a field of wheat out in the world right now, for one reason or another our paths have not crossed nor have we found eyes for each other. Too many "others" have risen and fallen like the tide. Many have disagreed or completely rejected support in my decisions and life styles altogether (this is something I've grown quite tired of). I keep finding that the time to cultivate a relationship of that nature is not now.

I am not "giving up hope" and this vow is beyond being single, or enjoying the "single" life. This vow is a declaration of putting all the time and energy that would go towards fulfilling that desire into things I have been first called to do. This could mean that I not look upon a potential spouse ten years or more. Its not something I want to think about, because having something like this was always the dream, but life isn't always the dream you want it to be.

Those reasons combined, the idea of a vow come about from all the stress and pains I would place upon my significant other (using the word "my" not as a possession, but as someone or something in close relation to me). Given all that I have been through and still tarry, I find that people break easier than they would like to believe, and placing someone in a position where the inevitable will happen is not an ideal of mine. This itself is a paradox of ideals. I am to conflicted about the subject that my judgment may be clouded and motives unclear.

Because I cannot see it with my vision, this is something I must surrender over to the Lord. There comes a time when one must surrender everything to the Lord, and now its time for me to surrender this aspect of my life too. I've already lifted up other areas to Him, why should this be any different from those times in the past? In turn I will pour the resources that would go into seeking a mate towards all the crafts and callings the Lord has given me already.
 
So before I let another person view all that I am and dwell with me, I want all of my battles to have been fought and dealt with, batons passed to those that will surpass me, and a divine tangible peace around me. Only then will I begin to entertain the idea of becoming one with another human being. Too many great things to do right now.

Editing with Music

Do you like to listen to music when you edit? If so what kind of music?

It depends on what I'm editing at the time. If its photos the possibilities are endless, or if I'm editing video and haven't started working on the audio. I have a few play lists on Spotify that I like to browse every now and then. Play lists ranging from Classic Rock to EDM. If I'm writing I prefer to listen to tunes without words. If I'm working on audio I prefer longer, consistent tracks at a low volume.

I listen to a lot of different genres and varieties, and rely on Spotify way too much. Something that I've found to be very popular, and dislike, is listening to movie sound tracks while working. Some of the play lists I've created do have songs from soundtracks, but to listen to the audio of a film or it's sound track in its entirety I find very distracting. Something that I've been leaning in and out of is working with ambient music or sounds.

There are a ton of YouTube videos dedicated to miscellaneous sounds that some would deem annoying. Some of these videos are labeled as Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response related. Working in absolute silence is something I do sometimes as well. Sometimes when I work with audio I edit and sync according to the sound waves and diagrams displayed on screen and go back and listen to it after I'm done. There's no straight answer with me on this subject.

My choice of if I listen to Music and what I listen to when I'm working is completely random too. I probably should have said that from the beginning. Oh well.

2017: A Year of Victory

It's been about one year since I moved to the DFW area from the RGV; within that time span some of my perceptions of reality and society have been fine tuned, refined, or both. Many things that I were once thoughts are now desires. Many things that were desires did not come into fruition or have all but withered away. This season of Eternal Spring, of growth, has shed off dead aspects to allow stronger, evolved, and renewed fragments to flourish into grandeur gardens.

This new year, 2017, is a Year of Victory. Victory over hindering ideals, victory over obstacles beyond what eyes can see, victory over battles wrought with loss. It is a year of overcoming the sins past generations. I spent the year of 2016 surviving and letting go of personal endeavors in order to establish something far greater than before. Not for my sake, but for the sake of others too. In doing so I found a glorious peace that cannot be duplicated or comparable to anything forged by imperfection.


This peace is what will allow me to sail through raging waters and fly through rough skies. This peace will allow me to press on against impossible odds. It will allow me to operate on a path that not many can venture. There are a multitude of things in this world that can slow me, but none will stop me because I do these things through and for Christ. With a weak body and a strong spirit I have so far thrived on almost nothing through the grace of God.

Victory comes at a price. Having let go of almost all that I am, I intend on surrendering my humanity to pick up armors and weapons to protect and serve, and gather my friends and allies to give the Enemy a Hell on Earth until I can no longer fight and must be laid to rest. And in that deep sleep, my only wish is to hear from the voice of God, if only a whisper, "Well done, good and  faithful servant...", and wait for the next adventure of a life time.