Super Massive Rabit Hole

A while back I met a man of a different faith. We shared values and histories, but his lineage in blood and spirit is of a different breed. We met in a cafe and spoke of our similarities and differences and things that made us unique. He showed me a vast array of knowledge regarding his faith and what it meant to him.

Coming from a family that put an emphasis of knowledge hording for the benefit of future generations, I had no problem interviewing this man and investigating his church. Much like things of the past I immersed myself in the subject to the point of obsession. I oft did this as a kid in different sciences and topics far and wide. I picked up books I was not ready for and probably should have never read at the time.

Growing in these literature I had not kept my eyes on the Lord as all Christians should; not once did I guard my heart when venturing into forbidden places.  I observed and made mental notes of possibilities and realities, only putting things of theory into practice when applicable. While I came out physically unscathed and mentally sound, my spirit had and has mourned.

Our last dialogue with this priest ended with, "what now will you do with this knowledge?" In my arrogance I replied, "save it for later." He briefly reprimanded me, perhaps it was God speaking through him, that not all people can gaze upon riches, turn away, and not crave what they have seen. While I know my convictions in Christ will never lead me astray, a phrase resounded in my heart and in my mind:

Strong is one who has partaken with this things of this world and has turned away; better is one who never did.

In this age where information and experiences can be passed on unfiltered like pathogens in the wind, it is wise to act on knowledge with wisdom. While we are all subject to the original sin of Adam, we are only taught to continue being sinful by those around us. Sin, Biblical sin, is more than simple disregard for the 10 Commandments overtly quoted. It would be foolish to believe that we can uphold those and not continue to obey our human natures. The Bible does speak of other sins can be detrimental to our health on many levels.

I write these words not knowing who or what responses will return, but my heart grieves for there are many who need to hear and heed but have never witnessed what I bleed out on this page. We are all called to do different things, have been bestowed gifts and talents, and are born with unique traits that allow us to perceive the world in ways others cannot.

If you're reading this, I urge you to leave with caution and be mindful what seeds you allow to take root in your essence. I know my Father equipt me with things to use in the future, and has allowed me to be tempted with things I should have never entertained. I admit there are things I have toyed that I would like to forget, things I cannot justify according to my own standard, some on Earth, and those in Heaven.

If these words carry do not speak to you, or cause you not to stir, then perhaps they are not for you or are for another time. Go get a cup of tea or coffee. Stay hydrated! Don't Text and Drive!

Just Not Today

A few months ago I wrote a post regarding friendship and life partnership. Right now I'm going to clarify somethings that I may or may not have said in passing. There is a trend that has permeated today's culture in a very serious way. It's been around for a great length of generations as far as I can tell, but noticeably prominent today: Expectations.

I write this stating it is not a bad thing to have ideas of what your future partner or spouse may or may not be infused with, but to solidify them as expectations or hard truths of what they need in order to be fit for your needs and wants.


Disclaimer: Honest Opinion Ahead.
From dawn to now, I thought this idea would dissolve. Usually after church these urges fade. My mind becomes preoccupied with the tasks and then my focus drives onward.

However, this next bit has been really bugging me. Maybe I saw a meme. Maybe a heart felt scene. Maybe someone made a quick joke. Regardless, I am single and I don't mind one bit.

In moments of greatness, I sometimes can't help but wish to be sharing the victory with someone my soul longs for. In moments of weakness I wonder if I wouldn't feel so weak if I could find refuge in the arms of someone special. However I cannot waste a moment and be bitter. If it is time for celebration, I must celebrate; if it is time for mourning I must mourn and move on.

I've read countless articles of "How to be single", "Waiting while you're single" , "What to do when you're single", and the list goes on. I read these writings in hopes to find something I can agree on, but never can. It makes me uneasy how quick people are to push these things onto others as if being single is a punishment.

From a Biblical stand point, not everyone is called to be married. Yet the U.S.A calls itself a Christian nation, and yet this is the American dream: Hero saves the day, gets the girl- or guy, and lives on happy. No one wants to watch the hero fail, no one wants to believe there's more to marriage than being happy.

I won't go much more because I have deadlines to fulfill. Just know that I spent half my life believing I needed to and was going to be married by this time, and the other half accepting a fate some would deem unnatural. We might find each other one day; not today. Until then I will serve the Lord.