I know a lot about a lot of things, so much so that it appears I know everything: I do not. In high school a lot of people would tell me that I sound like I'm on drugs. I to this day I am still unsure what they meant, to this day people still confess this. For a moment I considered doing drugs: 1. Because people already assumed I did them. 2. Part of me felt I would become normal after my brain chemistry was altered. To this day I have not knowingly par taken in anything extremely psychoactive or illegal.
I've been getting into the habit of having three beverages near by, a glass of water, a cup of coffee, a tea or "adult beverage", however its been weeks since I've drunk that kind of drink. I have trouble tending to my bodily needs. I don't eat enough, this has always been said, but now its apparent. I don't sleep enough, again I've known this, but haven't felt it to this extent. I am tired and my health is deteriorating: mentally and physically.
I didn't realize how much a neglected my own needs until now, but this changes nothing. Not a darn thing. There are others in worse situations, but this idea is not something that gives me peace. No, that is something that fuels the fire tingles like needles in my skin. What gives me peace is knowing that I have been blessed with abilities to get out of my situations. Blessed to be able to achieve things I have yet to fathom and help those in need when the time comes- and help them along the way.
I'm in pain, and I'll never rest until my work here is done. Until then in Christ I must carry on.
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