Super Massive Rabit Hole

A while back I met a man of a different faith. We shared values and histories, but his lineage in blood and spirit is of a different breed. We met in a cafe and spoke of our similarities and differences and things that made us unique. He showed me a vast array of knowledge regarding his faith and what it meant to him.

Coming from a family that put an emphasis of knowledge hording for the benefit of future generations, I had no problem interviewing this man and investigating his church. Much like things of the past I immersed myself in the subject to the point of obsession. I oft did this as a kid in different sciences and topics far and wide. I picked up books I was not ready for and probably should have never read at the time.

Growing in these literature I had not kept my eyes on the Lord as all Christians should; not once did I guard my heart when venturing into forbidden places.  I observed and made mental notes of possibilities and realities, only putting things of theory into practice when applicable. While I came out physically unscathed and mentally sound, my spirit had and has mourned.

Our last dialogue with this priest ended with, "what now will you do with this knowledge?" In my arrogance I replied, "save it for later." He briefly reprimanded me, perhaps it was God speaking through him, that not all people can gaze upon riches, turn away, and not crave what they have seen. While I know my convictions in Christ will never lead me astray, a phrase resounded in my heart and in my mind:

Strong is one who has partaken with this things of this world and has turned away; better is one who never did.

In this age where information and experiences can be passed on unfiltered like pathogens in the wind, it is wise to act on knowledge with wisdom. While we are all subject to the original sin of Adam, we are only taught to continue being sinful by those around us. Sin, Biblical sin, is more than simple disregard for the 10 Commandments overtly quoted. It would be foolish to believe that we can uphold those and not continue to obey our human natures. The Bible does speak of other sins can be detrimental to our health on many levels.

I write these words not knowing who or what responses will return, but my heart grieves for there are many who need to hear and heed but have never witnessed what I bleed out on this page. We are all called to do different things, have been bestowed gifts and talents, and are born with unique traits that allow us to perceive the world in ways others cannot.

If you're reading this, I urge you to leave with caution and be mindful what seeds you allow to take root in your essence. I know my Father equipt me with things to use in the future, and has allowed me to be tempted with things I should have never entertained. I admit there are things I have toyed that I would like to forget, things I cannot justify according to my own standard, some on Earth, and those in Heaven.

If these words carry do not speak to you, or cause you not to stir, then perhaps they are not for you or are for another time. Go get a cup of tea or coffee. Stay hydrated! Don't Text and Drive!

Just Not Today

A few months ago I wrote a post regarding friendship and life partnership. Right now I'm going to clarify somethings that I may or may not have said in passing. There is a trend that has permeated today's culture in a very serious way. It's been around for a great length of generations as far as I can tell, but noticeably prominent today: Expectations.

I write this stating it is not a bad thing to have ideas of what your future partner or spouse may or may not be infused with, but to solidify them as expectations or hard truths of what they need in order to be fit for your needs and wants.


Disclaimer: Honest Opinion Ahead.
From dawn to now, I thought this idea would dissolve. Usually after church these urges fade. My mind becomes preoccupied with the tasks and then my focus drives onward.

However, this next bit has been really bugging me. Maybe I saw a meme. Maybe a heart felt scene. Maybe someone made a quick joke. Regardless, I am single and I don't mind one bit.

In moments of greatness, I sometimes can't help but wish to be sharing the victory with someone my soul longs for. In moments of weakness I wonder if I wouldn't feel so weak if I could find refuge in the arms of someone special. However I cannot waste a moment and be bitter. If it is time for celebration, I must celebrate; if it is time for mourning I must mourn and move on.

I've read countless articles of "How to be single", "Waiting while you're single" , "What to do when you're single", and the list goes on. I read these writings in hopes to find something I can agree on, but never can. It makes me uneasy how quick people are to push these things onto others as if being single is a punishment.

From a Biblical stand point, not everyone is called to be married. Yet the U.S.A calls itself a Christian nation, and yet this is the American dream: Hero saves the day, gets the girl- or guy, and lives on happy. No one wants to watch the hero fail, no one wants to believe there's more to marriage than being happy.

I won't go much more because I have deadlines to fulfill. Just know that I spent half my life believing I needed to and was going to be married by this time, and the other half accepting a fate some would deem unnatural. We might find each other one day; not today. Until then I will serve the Lord. 

Never a better time to procrastinate!

I've been bouncing around the DFW since Nov 2017. Before then I had been traveling between here and the RGV. Ironically, I had more time to post here and upload for the vlog than I do now. I got a new job Feb 2018 and am living in Dallas now. 

The position is not film related, but it's definitely something I've been looking for since I moved up here two years ago. I consider this part of the harvest revealed to me in prayer at the turn of the year. Though we are in the final months of 2018 part of me believes there is still more to come.

 

God's Project now has a presence on Facebook. We're currently working on expanding to other outlets like YouTube and Instagram, but we haven't really had time to sit down and pull it all together. Before there were only two of us, but now we have more support. We recently finished a short film that we'll be submitting to festivals. Hopefully during this time we can fortify what we have.

 

I've spoken about this in the past but my stance remains firm. However the topic of a significant other has been reoccurring exponentially. So much so that it has prompted me to train my mind, body and soul. I do not know the day or hour when she will be revealed; all I have are traits of what she will be like. There is a prophecy that I have shared with a handful of people that briefly describes her appearance and personality, but outside of that it is a game of dating and courting.

On a final note, mental health issues are a real thing. I have been afflicted with them from time to time, but have been able to manage my symptoms. My suggestion to you is to try to use them to your advantage instead of viewing them as a handicap. It is not an easy feat, but know that it can be done.

I Don't Know About You, But I'm Not Feeling 22

I recently turned 25. Not much to say there. It seems as though every year has more exciting and more challenging. This past year was nothing like last year, nor as stagnant as years before. Prophetic, yes, it was filled with many victories great and small, but many fresh and new trials did await me.

The details are not ones I will relinquish because I have chosen to keep them a secret except to a select few. However, it can be said that the road I have traveled has been marked with blood, sweat, and tears. I met a lot of people and helped people when and where God called me to. I witnessed the hand of God in many wonderful things.

I recently turned 25, and I'm thinking about dwelling in the shadows of truth like I did before. About ten years ago I decided I would be more transparent with the world both inspire it and avoid misunderstandings with those around me. The more heavy and intimate facets were reserved for family and friends, but for the most part I shared my inner workings. Unfortunately only one of those two goals came into fruition.

By nature I am introverted, and it is only through personal development that I was able to lower inhibtions and reveal parts of me I wanted to keep secluded. In that personal experiment I have found that people only want to see what they want to see. People only want to know so much, and so I want to only tell so much. For years I tried to understand how the world worked in order to relate to it, but I have failed more times than I wanted and definitely more times than I succeeded. Yeah, I don't want to do this anymore unless I have to.

While I've been perfectly fine alone all this time, the interest and topic of entering a relationship has risen and fallen like the tide. However each time it returns more profoundly than the last. I haven't dated anyone in years, its not a real problem, but it is when you want to date. Given how things have worked so far, it might never happen no matter how much harder or smarter I try. 

So that's where I'm at at 25. Many things have been set in motion that I will see to the end, but will probably never pick up again. Things are falling into place, and I can only pray the desires of my heart are in line with what the Lord will provide. I might never understand this world, and that's okay. I might never enter into a relationship, but that's okay because not all of us are called to be married.

Its 2018, and from what I've heard its time to reap from the harvest of victories. I don't know about you, but I ain't wasting my time. At the end of the day, me and my house will serve the Lord on high.

Fun Facts about Jorge! :D

Next time I'll just upload it. Lesson learned, don't use hotel wifi for live streaming.

I happen to have some spare time during my visit here in the Rio Grand Valley (RGV). For those of you that don't know the RGV is about 500 miles south of the Dallas Fort Worth area. Why I'm here I don't know for sure, but it differently has something to do with the bonds I've formed through my time here.

I tend not to form emotional attachments easily, so when they do I like to put a lot of time and energy into cultivating these them. It's something that rarely occurs, and its something that I've always questioned because it appeared as though everyone else could get a long just fine.

Even with the bonds I've formed its still hard for me to cipher thoughts and emotions towards individuals and ideas. That is why I invest a lot of myself into people and places, so that I can come to a conclusion and understand where I stand.

So why am I here? To support the arts, to support a friend. To take care of other on going endeavors and businesses. To make sure "my house" is in order before I can focus more external things and progress in life.

It feels as though the more I learn about the world, the more I don't know. The more busy I get the more time I have. The more structured things become the more chaos appears to ensure.

I say things things in all seriousness, but at the same time I always seem to find myself humorously waiting. Waiting for things to happen. I'm not a very patient person, but I often find myself having to exert patience in a lot of things. Like right now (3/30/18 10:03AM)

That's all I have for now. I have many minor errands to run before I leave tomorrow morning.