I know a lot about a lot of things, so much so that it appears I know everything: I do not. In high school a lot of people would tell me that I sound like I'm on drugs. I to this day I am still unsure what they meant, to this day people still confess this. For a moment I considered doing drugs: 1. Because people already assumed I did them. 2. Part of me felt I would become normal after my brain chemistry was altered. To this day I have not knowingly par taken in anything extremely psychoactive or illegal.
I've been getting into the habit of having three beverages near by, a glass of water, a cup of coffee, a tea or "adult beverage", however its been weeks since I've drunk that kind of drink. I have trouble tending to my bodily needs. I don't eat enough, this has always been said, but now its apparent. I don't sleep enough, again I've known this, but haven't felt it to this extent. I am tired and my health is deteriorating: mentally and physically.
I didn't realize how much a neglected my own needs until now, but this changes nothing. Not a darn thing. There are others in worse situations, but this idea is not something that gives me peace. No, that is something that fuels the fire tingles like needles in my skin. What gives me peace is knowing that I have been blessed with abilities to get out of my situations. Blessed to be able to achieve things I have yet to fathom and help those in need when the time comes- and help them along the way.
I'm in pain, and I'll never rest until my work here is done. Until then in Christ I must carry on.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
2016: A Year of Transition
Oh my what a year 2016 was. Full of death, conflict, and horrific
crimes against nature and humanity, or at least this is what
the majority would believe two thousand sixteen brought in like a
winter storm. In general, leap years tend to be the most difficult
for me in terms of life obstacles. However, I personally did not find
twenty sixteen too unbearable at all! In fact Spring 2016 heralded a
season of Eternal Spring, a time of growth and healing, for me.
It was a year of transitions. I had quit a photography job early on and started free lancing in an attempt to attain more funds to pay bills, pay off loans, as well as provide fuel for my film endeavors. This worked for a few months, those of you that have seen the vlog know this. The time frames overlap, but for the most part that is how it was. I encountered a dry spell and had seemingly no other option but to move to North Texas. I have family here and a good friend of mine offered me a place to stay and a photography job for six weeks. Growth.
In that time period I drove back and forth between Grand Prairie and Waxahachie looking for a more stable job. I ended up finding it in Wax. The change in scenery and distance from distractions, though I find more negative than positive (not necessarily bad; I just miss home and everyone there), gave me space to recover and catch up mentally with all the things that had transpired throughout college. Healing.
I don’t understand why people reacted so sensitively to all the political things that occurred during this year. Celebrities and heroes die all the time. Wars and suffering have all been here since the beginning of time in one region or another. Seemingly terrible politicians manage to get elected, or chosen, all the flipping time! Not once before have I seen people take action before. Perhaps its because of the increasing integration of news and social media, but even then I don’t think this spark caught fire until the headlines and articles became click bait and “fake”, misleading factions of the public astray.
I personally didn’t experience a taste of death, but those around me did, and that was enough to call it a rough year. International affairs always made themselves known to me from a young age for some reason, so some of the hell we witnessed I had already anticipated clenching my teeth. Aside from watching local administrations do wonderfully stupid things and cause alarm due to bad judgment calls (I mean this in general and not in any defamatorious way. We’re all human and make mistakes, all is forgiven), 2016 was great. :D
I was supposed to graduate this year, as I was supposed to graduate last year, but that did not get accomplished, and whether or not I graduate this year (2017, lol) my actions leading up to the pass or fail event will be a victory. Why? Because 2017 is the Year of Victory. The things that I am going to do to get things done need to be strong and high rewarding decisions. In this Season of Eternal Spring, I need to build everything I have on “the rock”. Every effort I put forth into this world needs to pay me back completely in the long run in some way, shape, or form.
Undeniably, victories come with consequences. A year of victory does not mean a year of wealth or happiness, that comes later if it does, but merely (in the greatest sense) a year of fulfillment and productivity. This might sound odd coming from one of my generation, but I care not or happiness if the will of the Lord is finished and the land has been tilled with seeds planted. That alone is more than enough.
It was a year of transitions. I had quit a photography job early on and started free lancing in an attempt to attain more funds to pay bills, pay off loans, as well as provide fuel for my film endeavors. This worked for a few months, those of you that have seen the vlog know this. The time frames overlap, but for the most part that is how it was. I encountered a dry spell and had seemingly no other option but to move to North Texas. I have family here and a good friend of mine offered me a place to stay and a photography job for six weeks. Growth.
In that time period I drove back and forth between Grand Prairie and Waxahachie looking for a more stable job. I ended up finding it in Wax. The change in scenery and distance from distractions, though I find more negative than positive (not necessarily bad; I just miss home and everyone there), gave me space to recover and catch up mentally with all the things that had transpired throughout college. Healing.
I don’t understand why people reacted so sensitively to all the political things that occurred during this year. Celebrities and heroes die all the time. Wars and suffering have all been here since the beginning of time in one region or another. Seemingly terrible politicians manage to get elected, or chosen, all the flipping time! Not once before have I seen people take action before. Perhaps its because of the increasing integration of news and social media, but even then I don’t think this spark caught fire until the headlines and articles became click bait and “fake”, misleading factions of the public astray.
I personally didn’t experience a taste of death, but those around me did, and that was enough to call it a rough year. International affairs always made themselves known to me from a young age for some reason, so some of the hell we witnessed I had already anticipated clenching my teeth. Aside from watching local administrations do wonderfully stupid things and cause alarm due to bad judgment calls (I mean this in general and not in any defamatorious way. We’re all human and make mistakes, all is forgiven), 2016 was great. :D
I was supposed to graduate this year, as I was supposed to graduate last year, but that did not get accomplished, and whether or not I graduate this year (2017, lol) my actions leading up to the pass or fail event will be a victory. Why? Because 2017 is the Year of Victory. The things that I am going to do to get things done need to be strong and high rewarding decisions. In this Season of Eternal Spring, I need to build everything I have on “the rock”. Every effort I put forth into this world needs to pay me back completely in the long run in some way, shape, or form.
Undeniably, victories come with consequences. A year of victory does not mean a year of wealth or happiness, that comes later if it does, but merely (in the greatest sense) a year of fulfillment and productivity. This might sound odd coming from one of my generation, but I care not or happiness if the will of the Lord is finished and the land has been tilled with seeds planted. That alone is more than enough.
Friday, December 23, 2016
ROGUE ONE REVIEW (NONE SPOILERS)
After watching The Force Awakens, and hearing a series of spin-off Star Wars Movies were to be released (establishing a cinematic universe like Marvel and DC movies), I felt that these things might just be money grabs: high production value without a solid story for support. While it may indeed be a money grab by the empire of the dream tyrant, Disney, it's a brilliant one. The cast was excellent and the special effects were amazing enough to bring a dead man to life.
It's not perfect. It does have some odd edits and tiny errors throughout, but it's over all ability to recreate the entire Ep. IV universe elegantly was enough for these things to be over looked. I was wonderfully overwhelmed with nostalgia. However, as a die hard fan I was extremely disappointed with Darth Vader's suit, but that didn't ruin the movie too much for me because we seem him go full sith lord on rebel scum later on. Knowing how powerful Vader had yet to be portrayed on the silver screen, I was immensely satisfied with the end result.
I don't want to give away too many details and accidentally spoil the movie, but it does justice to the original trilogy and fills in many of the gaps between Ep. III and Ep. IV. It works well as a stand alone film too. I give it a 8 out of 10 for technicalities, a 9 out of 10 for story, and an overall 4 out of 5 for entertainment.
It's not perfect. It does have some odd edits and tiny errors throughout, but it's over all ability to recreate the entire Ep. IV universe elegantly was enough for these things to be over looked. I was wonderfully overwhelmed with nostalgia. However, as a die hard fan I was extremely disappointed with Darth Vader's suit, but that didn't ruin the movie too much for me because we seem him go full sith lord on rebel scum later on. Knowing how powerful Vader had yet to be portrayed on the silver screen, I was immensely satisfied with the end result.
I don't want to give away too many details and accidentally spoil the movie, but it does justice to the original trilogy and fills in many of the gaps between Ep. III and Ep. IV. It works well as a stand alone film too. I give it a 8 out of 10 for technicalities, a 9 out of 10 for story, and an overall 4 out of 5 for entertainment.
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